Spring

We have moved to Woodingdean- we are living here. And settled, more or less. The garden is great for reading, writing, eating breakfast and lunch. The birds provide a lively symphony and there's loads of sunshine. The housemates are tricky (well one is great, the other is a selfish twat), but both have agreed to me utilizing the front room as a studio. Dhia, the eleven year old, will have a piano in there also... so it'll be a active creative environment. At the moment it's pretty empty, apart from meals and occasional small programs with Rich and myself- a bit of reading and singing. I guess in a normal house it would have a t.v. and we'd congregate around the dumb box most evenings- here people are generally doing there own thing.

The "community" is still dodgy as ever. I won't reveal the latest development but, believe me, it is drawn out and ridiculous. I am getting closer to certain individuals but feeling the pressure of negotiating master plans and egos.

All I can do is work away at my own stuff- art, self-development, consciousness.

The last couple of weeks have been completely stressful, for lots of people- must be planetary pulls or the like. Hippy hippy hippy shit.

Some sad news- Mike has left and gone to Australia... I got the Mikey blues. Bel and myself managed to spend some time with him in Margate before he left, before taking him to the airport. Sob! He's a diamond bloke, who's been a main player in my life for the last 9 years, and I miss him alot here in Brighton. Probably the same if not more so for sweet Bel. Anyway, lets hope his life is good down under...

29 going on ...

Today is my birthday. It was a good day. Lunch prepared by Rich, art junk market at Phoenix, Beethoven's 7th at the Dome, followed by Hare Krishna dinner/disco... No alcohol, no drugs, just a good sound system, classic tunes and some people up for a laugh. Oh how we danced the merry dance...

Have to say I feel a bit mixed up- very grateful and appreciative of all the loving folks in my life, but slightly emotional and displaced. Apparently 29 has important implications in terms of the numerology. It breaks down into 11, which brings big shifts regarding spiritual life. It also breaks down further to a 2, which, formed like someone in prayer, represents servitude and surrender. What does that mean then, eh??

Here's wintry Devils dyke...

A new year

2009 is here! A big fat Happy New Year to you all!


The month running up to it was pretty eventful. First all that house mess- which has since been resolved. I have to admit though, it has thrown me regarding my place with the project in Brighton. I find the instructions or pressure regarding my life rather alarming. Rich and myself are moving out, to another shared house on the outskirts of Brighton. There's a large garden which will be used to grow veg and flowers which is something Rich really wants to be a part of. We have been assured that because we aren't actually living in the temple ashram, there won't be further demands to get engaged/married. We'll see. In any case, myself and Rich want to live with each other to see how things go and perhaps this house (set to be much much more peaceful than the busy temple street) will be a better place to let our relationship develop. It's also more space than we would ever be able to afford by ourselves in central Brighton... let the 6 months trial commence!

Moving on- myself, Annabel and Mike escaped for four days of madness in Amsterdam mid-December.



The Brinker Hotel hosts an international painting competition each December, where fine art students from England and Holland show their work, which is voted for by all the guests of the party. The prize is €5000... pretty substantial amount to a third year student! I won it myself in 2002, and back then it included a 3 month residency. It was during those three months I formed good relations with the management and staff, which is why I'm invited back each year. I love going to the 'dam! It's a city I feel good in- things flow well. And going to the Brinker really is like visiting family.

Our only source of nutrition whilst in the 'dam.








We threw ourselves into the drinking, partying, shits and giggles with my friends from the hotel, old tutors, old friends I studied with and young floppy haired art students. It was a welcome relief from the hassles of Brighton, and so good to spend quality time with Mike and Annabel (esp as Mike is leaving this fair land for sunnier pastures). I made some nice connections, and reestablished relationships with tutors- a couple of exhibition opportunities have emerged for next year which is exciting. I had inspiring visits to the Van Gogh Museum and The Rijks which, together with all the art talk flying round the hotel, renewed/strengthened the desire to get focused with my work.

On return myself and Rich went to Dorset to visit his family- lovely long country walks, mooching round old picturesque towns, t.v. watching and sleeping in. Can't complain. Then on to Margate for Christmas, which included the usual- relaxing, laughing, over-eating, drinking, gaming, unwrapping, etc etc. New Years was with the Hare's in Brighton- 24hr kirtan. Some amazing musicians came along- one Israeli woman played the guitar and sang a really cool bhajan... Trippy, psychedelic, doors inspired tune verging on the dark... could imagine something like that played at a drug fuelled orgy. I was well into it! We sang, danced and made merry into the early hours, some stayed the course and kept going til 12pm the next day- the mad ones who don't mind feeling jet lagged for three days after. To top off the new years celebrations I went ice skating with Camilla in Somerset house.

Aims for the 2009?

- Paint like I've never painted before!!!

Limbo

I have to move out of the house- at short notice, before I've barely unpacked. Either that or get married/engaged.

Organized religion sucks.

10,000 hours

10,000 hours is roughly the time required to achieve mastery over a subject (given you initially have some raw talent). That's approximately 20 hours a week for 10 years. I read this in the guardian at the weekend- basically, what distinguishes the very successful from others is not that they work much harder. But rather they work much, much, much harder. There are other factors there of course- favourable, supportive environments, starting young ( which allows you to reach that level of expertise early enough for you to successfully apply it), etc.

It's not necessarily a question of talent (obviously some raw talent is needed), but essentially a question of work ethic/obsession/drive.

I was thinking about this a few months ago when I visited some artists I had studied with- one guy in particular has recently had significant breakthroughs with his painting. What was the difference between him and the rest of us? He didn't break his study- foundation to degree to masters to Phd (which he's near completion). That's 9 years of continuous work in a supportive environment.

I have to work at it. Stop fecking off around the country/world so much. Apply myself, because I do want to be an artist.

The good news? I pretty much have a studio lined up for January with several painters. The association and space to produce. I cannot stress my excitement.Hare Krishna

It has come to pass

I have moved to Brighton! More or less, as in I have some stuff here, the wardrobe is full of my clothes, we have curtains and drawers... I'm currently looking at studios so I can start painting again, and also for a part-time job (so I can pay for my studio). It'll take a bit of time to get fully settled, but things are looking good and it's nice to be in the house. I'm looking forward to some sort of stability and routine with work, art and life in the ashram.

Check out my reupholstered blanket box! posh int it?? ...Shelves next!

Gypo

The last couple of weeks have seen me in Leeds, Wolves, London and Ireland... I've somehow found myself on a mad catch up mission, which has been fantastic if not exhausting (the traveling, not the time spent with loved ones). I spent almost a week with an old uni mate, Kyla, living in her gorgeous little cottage that backs onto woods- ?? And its in the heart of Leeds! We spent the time talking art, playing the guitar, walking in the woods with Bon, eating amazing veggie feasts... she took me on a sound journey, introduced me to some friends, and one night we trekked into the woods and built ourselves a fire. This was a little creepy at first- Kyla had a solar-powered torch that kept cutting out on us, and the pitch darkness coupled with the noises of the woods was all a little too Blair Witch! ... I relaxed after a time and enjoyed the ambiance.



Tell you what I really enjoyed... Stomping around in boots! Ah man, it's a whole different experience not worrying about your shoes... mud is good! I'm going to get me a pair of walking boots and dirty them bad boys up.








On one of the days we journeyed down to Wolverhampton to catch an exhibition some friends Becky and Ad were in- The Something Collective, showing in Birmingham. Amazing venue, a decrepit old club house donated as a space before being refurbished. Ad's work encouraged the usual laughs (intentional and loving) and Becky's work is herself manifested on paper... sweet, romantic and nostalgic. The evening was spent in a pub back in Wolves, with more artists, talking art, toasting Ad's birthday and the numerous appearances his art had had in the local and national papers. I have to say I do get a good feeling in Wolves, and I do miss my friends there. It's so important to have supportive friends doing or attempting to do a similar thing- I need a scene. A crowd of artists to share experience and ideas with.

Train back to Margate, that evening booked a flight for the following night to Shannon, Ireland. Myself and Camila escaped England for three days, hired a car and stayed in the Burren. We soaked up the beautiful countryside and the unusually good weather with long walks up mountains and around the coast. We also met many cousins and relatives of mine which made for lots of laughter... most of the time. I love them all- want to live there some time... soak it up. Paint landscapes. As usual the air was nourishing, and the sky felt close- I swear the clouds are lower in Ireland.

A few days in London allowed me to catch the Rothko exhibition at the Tate Modern- it was impressive. There is a definite spiritual aspect to his work that commands some respect- what a subject to tackle! The transcendence of the material. Its a hard thing to do- make art that speaks of the good stuff- much easier to tackle how shit things are in the world, the meaningless and the ugly. The exhibition was crowded so I couldn't meditate on it too much, but it is a wonderful show. It feels significant- see it if you can.

Whilst in London I was also a judge for a Photography competition at the Kalayaan- Centre for Oversees domestic workers... a charity set up to advise foreign men and women who are abused by their employees. Modern day slavery so to speak. Anyway, after a photography workshop, the domestic workers were invited to take and submit images they felt represented something about their lives in England. It was quite an interesting thing to be involved in and some good work surfaced. One guy shone. The prize has to be a voucher (not cash) which may enable him to continue with his artistic pursuits.

For now, I'm back in Margate... preparing for the move! Aaargh! Bite the bullet. I'll be there next week.